Back and Forth
by Rebecca Steven Taylor
Summary: A series of drabbles, some after the Apoca-Not, some before. I'm warning you now - there's a lot of angst and death


Angels bleed gold. It's truly lovely, the droplets shimmering in the last of the evening light.

Aziraphale wishes he could appreciate the glorious beauty of his own death, but only has one word in his head. Over and over again, the only word that has ever mattered and he was so stupid not to see it all these years. 6000 years wasted on Heaven's lie.

Crowley. Crowley Crowley Crowley. My dear. Dearest. My love. Crawly. The name fades on his lips as his light fades.

Miles away, too far away, a demon hears the last call of a dying angel.

OoOoOoOo

Aziraphale poured out wine.

'Crowley?'

'Mmm?'

'When the big one comes, us against them, which side will you be on?'

Crowley looked round at his world

'Our side. You?'

'I've thought about this very hard – I'm going to fight beside the humans. On the whole, they've always been much nicer to me than Heaven.'

'Careful, that's how angels fall.'

'I don't think I care any more.'

He handed Crowley his wine.

'I suppose I'll fight with you, then. Side by side with the humans. I like them better too. And who knows – maybe if we're very incompetent, we'll win again.'

OoOoOoOo

'They can't be allowed to get away with it,'

'Agreed,' Beelzebub told Gabriel. 'I can see demonszzz beginning to look at me funny.'

'Angels are beginning to question the Great Plan.'

'Don't you mean the Ineffable Plan?' Beelzebub said sourly. 'Did you talk to you-know-who?'

'Pointless.' Gabriel leaned close. 'It's like talking to a tree. Not much of a conversation.'

'There's only one way to get Damned and Angels back in line.'

'Kill Aziraphale and Crowley.'

'No. You need to destroy their szzpirit. We just kill one. That'll break the other.'

'I like it. As long as we kill Aziraphale.'

OoOoOoOo

The band played and the two men smiled.

'I never apologised,' Aziraphale said.

'No need. It's forgiven, Angel.'

'It shouldn't be. It was unforgiveable and rude and wrong. Heaven said a lot of awful things and I was very worried they were going to kill you.'

'You were trying to protect me?'

'You needed to be far away. I did still believe Heaven was good and would stop the war. I was stupid.'

'But – protect me?'

'Yes.' He looked at the demon. 'I realise it's usually the other way round.'

Crowley took Aziraphale's hand.

'Never mind. No-one needs protecting now.'

OoOoOo

One job. He had one job for 6000 years. He had done Hell's work, but for fun, to keep them off his back. His job had been to look after Aziraphale.

He should have done it better, then perhaps he wouldn't have walked into a burning bookshop to find Aziraphale gone from the world.

He always knew where Aziraphale was. Every second, he could reach out in his mind and pinpoint his angel. Only once had he not found him. It still turned him deathly cold to think about it.

Now that absence was there again. A world without Aziraphale.

OoOoOo

It's over, is it? Right. Fine. Good. To Hell with the Angel. Literally. He didn't need him. He had a whole universe to choose from.

Damn it, why did this hurt? He was a demon, wasn't he? Demons shouldn't feel pain like this.

Nebulas and planets and worlds and stars, all his for the taking. Anywhere.

The problem is, they were all just sparkly dust without Aziraphale – and Aziraphale loved this world. So did he, if he was honest. That was his Heaven, not celestial harmonies and angels. This world and Aziraphale in it.

Fuck it. He wasn't going anywhere.

OoOoOo

'Hastur, Duke of Hell, do you understand this mission I have given you?'

'Kill Crowley, got it.'

Beelzebub sighed. Everyone in Hell was stupid.

'Kill Aziraphale. Here's the dagger, forged in Hellfire, etc etc.'

'Then kill Crowley.'

'No, I told you. Killing Aziraphale and leaving him alive will hurt him more. It'll be perfect revenge for Ligur.'

Hastur thought about this.

'Why?'

'Just do it! Make him suffer, Hastur. Make sure he has no chance to save his angel. Destroy his soul. It's love, Hastur. It'll burn him.'

'Ah, love,' Hastur said, pocketing the knife. 'Filthy stuff. Never touch it.'

OoOoOo

He had to save Crowley. Michael had put awful images in his head, of Crowley dying

He could stop the Apocalypse. If the angels wouldn't help him then he would go- elsewhere. War was wrong! They'd want to stop it, wouldn't they?

But he had to make sure Crowley was safe. That meant sending him away and not telling him why. They were an angel and a demon! They weren't supposed to care about each other. Heaven told him so and Heaven was always right.

Heaven never told him sending Crowley away would hurt so much. Perhaps Heaven was wrong.

OoOoOo

On a cliff by the sea was the body of a man. No-one had found it. No-one was allowed to see it until the demon in the Bentley drove up and ran towards him.

It was just a body now. He held it and called out his name and told him he loved him and begged the spirit to come back, but it was just flesh. The golden blood had turned black. All that joy, and awkwardness, and hope and gentleness and determination and love, ever-lasting love had gone.

Crowley left Aziraphale. There was only one thing left to do.

OoOoOo

'Good morning, Nanny!'

'Good morning. No-one's looking, by the way.'

'Good. Wine?'

They sat in deckchairs.

'You look ridiculous. A smock. In this century?'

'You look - rather good, actually. Mary Poppins inspired?'

'She always terrified me.'

'And me.'

'You know, if it wasn't for the Anti-Christ stomping on my daffodils over there, this would be quite a pleasant job.'

It was noticed that Nanny spent all her time with the gardener. Everyone assumed they were having an affair, though they didn't quite understand the attraction. But as the two of them made each other happy, all wished them well.

OoOoOoOo

Crowley sent a message to Hastur.

Hastur liked to boast, and to see pain. He turned up.

'Did you know,' Crowley said, 'that you were working for Gabriel?'

'No, Beelzebub. Does it hurt, losing your little angel friend?'

'More than you can possibly imagine. Beelzebub was working on Gabriel's order. Use back channels, tell Gabriel I want to see him, or everyone in Hell will know they are working together. I'll meet him in a church. He'll be safe.'

Hastur made calls. Crowley could hear the agitation in his voice.

'It's done.'

Then Hastur felt holy water touch his skin.

OoOoOoOo

'Crepes still good?'

Aziraphale put his fork down as Crowley watched him intently.

'Wonderful. Oh, I can thank you, now, for coming to rescue me in 1793.'

'Not a problem. Loved rescuing you, over and over…'

'Well, thank you. I appreciate it.'

'It's what we do for people we love.' Crowley said, deliberately not looking at the angel. He could feel Aziraphale go very still beside him.

'Well, in that case,' Aziraphale said slowly, 'I should have rescued you, because you're someone I love.'

Crowley turned to see Aziraphale looking at him shyly

'Glad that's sorted out then. More crepes?'

OoOoOo

Crowley sprawled across a pew.

'I thought consecrated ground hurt demons?' Gabriel said, coming in, smug and smart.

'I'm past the point of caring.'

'We're not talking.'

'So why come? To gloat?'

'To kill you. You've become inconvenient. This whole church is rigged with holy water.'

'I know,' Crowley said, standing up. 'I saw it. I also came in and set Hellfire jars everywhere. And oh look, a fuse. And I've just lit it.'

'Didn't you hear me?' Gabriel panicked. 'There's holy water everywhere! You'll die too!'

'That's sort of the point. Now such your stupid mouth and die already.'

OoOoOo

There's a ruined church in an empty village in the middle of nowhere. If anyone had lived close, then one evening they would have seen the entire thing explode, and then crowds of very beautiful people in grey swarming all over it, searching.

They never found anything. They never will. They left.

No-one goes near the church. It's haunted. On warm summer evenings you can hear voices drifting away, sadly murmuring, constantly calling. They sound like they're searching for each other but are always lost.

This is a sacred place – but no-one is quite sure who it is sacred to.

OoOoOoO

'To the world!'

They raised their glasses and toasted each other.

Once they would meet, happily, but then leave separately. They both knew, without saying a word, that time had gone. Now they were inseparable.

'I'd like to go somewhere,' Aziraphale said. 'Paris? Or the seaside. Or…'

'We've got time for everything. We've got eternity. But now - Paris,' Crowley said. 'I'll get the Bentley, meet you outside.'

'Sure you can find me?' Aziraphale teased.

'I'll always be able to find you, angel.' Crowley wasn't teasing. Too much had happened. He meant it. 'Whereever you are, I'll always find you.'


End file.
